Barefoot in the heart: part 3, the ceo

buried beneath the bitter earth and the splintering boards above barely room to breathe nailed in suffocating the resounding perpetual pounding of orders being followed pride being swallowed yesterdays being tomorrowed hope being sorrowed confounding all other thought is this what power brings? but see what they bought me on my elevation a material coronation a soundproofed billet the size of docklands arena workstation carved from a marble fillet with personal shopper chauffeur chef charwallah spoon polisher cushion fluffier spectacle buffer all more mustard to impress than words can express in thanks so initially flustered I shuffle an embarrassed deck of blanks and surreptitiously learn the royal wave goes down well with the harassed hourly paid ranks I’m now by default a millionaire debonair rarely there but my PR people really care I’m a self-fulfilling prophecy my very own currency the current rate none of mine for all of yours going to put my feet up while you’re on all fours no-one going to challenge me now I’m fire retardant I’ve read sun tzu the executive summary but who on earth is montesqueiu doesn’t seem to be in the harvard business review well sodhim got a speaking coach personal coach image coach going to be aurally and morally sculpted as befitting one catapulted into olympus cronos on one side zeus on the other no excuse for failure now no sacred cow no why or what just a greatbigblowup how now where’s my speech for the investors and what are these protestors doing in the way learn from lincoln now where’s a modernday pinkerton when you need one but finally cast into the sunlight at last am run aground my lungs vermiculite the eyes staring starry glistening balls of kryptonite I talk but no-one listening gulping sound wandering avenues lined with the petrified ghosts of confrontation past j’accuse! choking on thin air wondering why all around breathe softly and no-one seems to notice I am there survivor syndrome imposter syndrome stockholm syndrome and a syn drum in the seventies when life had none of the dross lost my youth at a party on mykonos took a week to find my way home then through the door never left it again buried my loss beneath the same floor I can’t escape in my heart I am barefoot pierced by brittle rosethorns while all around pawns pass silent on wet grass ambivalent the path sucked into the skyline cracked lifeline in the palm of my hand understand at last that all the power I ever thought I had was secondhand

 

One thought on “Barefoot in the heart: part 3, the ceo

  1. Gosh. My heart goes out to you. Reach deep for your wisdom and wide for your humanity. Our integrity is all we have. I admire your courage.

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