The Christmas project would require a fully expensed visit for the entire team and some of their friends to Greenland, Lapland and anywhere else ending in “land” to see how they organise it (and what they drink)
A conference on the “future of Christmas” would be held, at which someone would present on “Christmas is something you do, not a small island in the Indian Ocean – although it is that too”
The Pre-Post Occupancy Survey revealed that 54% of people were moderately happy with last year’s Christmas present- which doesn’t tell us much but it’s great to have some data, isn’t it?
The term Christmas would be replaced by a project acronym depicting the meaning and spirit of the season – after a night-long pizza-fuelled brainstorming session, the themes identified were – December , (Frank)incense, Wenceslas, Advocat, Lists and I(want an iPad) – or DIWALI
Only seven out of ten people would get presents, to account for some not being around on Christmas Day
Those seven would all get the same present, because one size fits all
The Christmas Tree would be a tulip growing in an egg cup on the outside windowsill – until it died shortly being placed there, which was an installation error and nothing to do with the design
Christmas Dinner would consist of champagne cocktails followed by several turbo shandies and finally a vegan kebab, all sponsored by a major furniture manufacturer
All Christmas decorations would need to be taken down at the end of the working day and the space left exactly as you would wish to find it, to enable you to celebrate Christmas in a way that suits you – even if you wanted to find Christmas decorations
On Boxing Day the scope of Christmas would be extended to include Easter, the fee thereby being increased together with a sundry 10% admin charge on top for specifying the eggs
Oh well – let’s hope HR will be running it next year….